It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
