I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
