but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
