So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
