so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
id be glad to
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
