How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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