ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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