this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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