No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am available for nakedness
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
