I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
