Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
