My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
