she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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