Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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