she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
