this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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