Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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