Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
