just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
