I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
