I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
