So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I use my feet as sexual weapons
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
