so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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