Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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