Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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