quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
