your room smells of hookers.
And success
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
