I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
