Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
