you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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