I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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