You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have demons in me.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
