Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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