We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
