But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
