i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
