i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
