No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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