If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
