There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
