So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
