Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
