Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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