so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
