i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
