One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
