Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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