Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
