You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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