I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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