Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
